07 Jul A deep realization
I’ve always been a multi-tasker. Managing work, home chores, family, hosting dinners, meeting up with friends, some days I’ve even managed to do all these things all together.
I became a mother right before the Pandemic in February 2020. Taking care of my newborn and trying to understand each other, meanwhile dealing with Post Partum hormones and the anxiety of not being able to move out to meet anyone made me sulk. That is the time you need your closest people with you. I’m sure the new moms will understand me.
All this, combined with the anxiety and the signs of low phase hitting me, left me with no time for my own self, for my own growth. Add to it the stress of work hitting a complete low.
I had no clue what I was putting myself into or for that matter, I was clueless about what I had gone through in the past one year until one day, when my feelings, emotions and my mind had an explosion that made me see a side of me even I did not know of. I felt broken, torn and in pieces.
What happened to me after that was something very unusual. I started to take ONE DAY AT a TIME. I stopped myself from doing 20 things in a day. I accepted the fact that it’s ok to wake up late and not feel guilty about it. I started taking cooking and cleaning a little easy on me. I started to focus on spending more quality time with litlu, started enjoying my morning tea in bed. Yes! I hadn’t had tea while sitting in so long. You know the most important thing that I let go? Cleaning the Kitchen spick and span before sleeping. I still do it, but I also let it be on days I don’t feel like doing it and I feel absolutely okay about it.
I had taken the smallest of things as a pressure on me since so many years. And now I feel so much at peace.
I feel the problem is not knowing the fact that our mental health needs attention. And after we know, we are in a tendency to ignore it or go into denial. And when we finally cannot deal with it, we do not know where or who to go to. We are too scared to be judged.
Talk it out, to your friends, family, husband, whoever you feel comfortable with. Seek a therapist if need be. You will definitely feel good about the new you.
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